Thursday, November 6, 2008


Change - it's the big buzz word lately. Everyone wants some kind of change - a change in leadership, a change in the economic landscape, personal change, even just a change of the weather. Everything is about change.

One inevitable change is getting older. Aging is a natural human process that everyone goes through, but some don't do so as gracefully as others. Take Hollywood actresses (or other celebrities --uh...hello. Joan Rivers?!? What were you thinking?!?!) who think plastic surgery to look younger is just a part of life. Use good skin care products, color your hair, exercise, watch what you eat, wear contacts instead of glasses. If you must, you can find plenty of ways to make yourself not look as old as you are that don't include surgery (or injecting a live virus into your facial muscles...another topic that just grosses me out!)

But why must you do that? What makes us, as a society, associate getting older as something negative? Something to be defied and denied at all costs? We ALL - every human being - gets older every day. At the same pace. I will be one day older tomorrow than I am today (38 years and 136 days)...and so will you, and so will everyone else on the planet. What is wrong with that?? I say nothing.

Maybe I'm in a minority - I am proud of my age. I'm 38 and not afraid to say it. 38. 38. 38. And I look forward to each birthday as an occasion to celebrate - I made it through another year of life. I don't care if I'm one of those people who "looks good for her age" - what does 38 look like anyway? What matters is that I feel good about myself at any age, no matter how I look. I am proud of who I am now, and really looking forward to who I will be - not what I look like - when I'm 40, and 48, and 58, and God willing, 68, 78, 88, and 98.

I consider each each wrinkle, each grey hair, each need to squint a little more each day, as a badge of pride - proof I have lived my 38+ years, and I lived them well. I earned these wrinkles, and I don't really care who knows it.

Sunday, November 2, 2008


We had dinner together last night - just the four of us, at the dining room table. That's a rare occurance these days - and it was just so nice to have that brief amount of family time together. We talked about each other - what we like and love about each other - and I heard out loud some sentiments that I suspected were there, but rarely, if ever, voiced out loud. Two examples: Ryan really does like it when Katie plays Wii with him; Katie likes that Ryan is sweet. They actually do enjoy doing things together and conspiring against either me or Mark, or both of us. It's not always apparent, but I know it's there, just under the surface.

Katie suggested that one of the reasons that Mark and I love each other is because we kissed at our wedding. That doesn't even start to explain it all.

So on nights like last night, I realize that I'm doing something right. I may not be a perfect mom or a perfect wife, and I'm sure there will be lots of therapy in my kids' future for some reason or another, but for now, I feel good about the mom and wife I am.