Monday, September 22, 2008

Responsibility

My husband has had a blog (two actually) for quite some time. A good friend recently started one as well. So I thought it was now my turn. Not long ago when my son asked why I didn't have a blog, I told him I didn't have much to say. I realize that's not true - I have a lot to say, but the question is, I don't know who wants to hear it. I guess I'll find out.

There are four priorities in my life - my husband, my children, my friends and my family. I'm sure most of my posts will be about those subjects. This time, I'll start with my friends.

I had an amazing weekend with my friends. It was Moms Gone Wild 2 - a weekend we started when two close friends moved to Texas and Florida. I thought it would be all fun and games - drinking games actually. But when I returned home last year, when I was asked how the weekend was, all I could answer was: spiritual. Not in the religious sense, but in that my spirit was touched - deeply touched - by these 7 women of various ages, strengths, backgrounds. Our kids may all be in the same age range and the reason we know each other, but we each brought something different that weekend and each of them touched my life, my spirit, in ways I had never imagined.

I returned home this year with another, different revelation. I was again expecting fun and games - again, drinking games; I was again expecting to be spiritually touched, perhaps in different ways. But more importantly, I realized something about myself that I've probably always known. I'm the "responsible one" - I was like that when I was 10 years old, and I continue to be that way now. I took care of my siblings then, and I take care of my friends now (and my family of course, but that should go without saying!). It's who I was, who I am, and who I always will be.

Why is this a revelation? As I said, I've probably known, realized, been aware of this forever. But this weekend made me face it head on. It connects me, validates me, gives me purpose. I HAVE to take care of others - it's not what I do, it's who I am. I am the one who sits in the visitor chair and gets my hand squeezed when the doctor gives the prognosis. Yes, any of the other four strong women could and would have done that in a heartbeat. But I MUST be that person. Not because I think they can't, but because I can't not.

Thanks to my friends for teaching me this without even knowing it. I look forward to learning so much more from you than you'll ever know.

5 comments:

Prof Mark said...

Very nice post.

Your Experienced Blogger Husband

Tee said...

JS - Great first post! Your piece was very inspiring. I wonder if this weekend was a message to you about a new career path? Nurse Johnna? Patient Advocate Johnna. Whatever, you can hold my hand anytime. Keep blogging! Tee

Terry said...

Thanks for sharing your new blog! I will always be interested in what you have to say. Write on!

peatb said...

I admit to being intrigued about the mysterious goings on of your weekend. I hope it was nothing too serious.

The first step towards being a writer is getting over the feeling that no one will care what you have to say. Often, when you have put your thoughts in order in writing, you will find that YOU care what you had to say, and learned something about yourself in the process, and that's all that really matters.

Besides, plenty of us do care. Keep it up.

-Peter
www.petervbrett.com

debrett said...

Hi Johnna,

We're all interested in what you have to say. I'm going on a similar "girls" weekend on Friday. It started several years ago when we all flew to CA to visit a very dear sick friend. We found that we enjoyed each other's company and have continued the get-togethers.

Keep up the writing.

Love,

Aunt De